I'm always reluctant to say it or type it. It's quite obvious the photo is of my face, isn't it?
The word I speak of is, 'selfie' or should that be #selfie. I've always believed such photos sent off negative connotations of being vain or self-absorbed and although I'm known to divulge in such photographic activities, I'm often curious over what people must think of me. I would often find myself scrolling through my Instagram uploads and question their quantity. All that was until recently when I read an article on this whole idea and how the female writer, explained that it should actually be viewed as a positive thing.
In a modern society where we absorb the information magazines and advertising send out to us, dictating how we should look or what we should weigh, surely it's a good thing that we feel happy in ourselves to capture it in a moment and share with our friends. We should be happy in our own skin. This being easier said than done.
As I already mentioned, I'm often on Instagram showcasing my outfits, snapping my reflection but last year between August and October I suffered a drought. I was no where to be seen, the images were of everything else but myself. To put it so bluntly, I was suffering from depression. I suffer from depression and it comes in waves sandwiched between years, weeks or days, with no explanation of the reason it comes crashing down on me. Last year, I barely left my bed and when I did, it was never to look in the mirror. I couldn't have felt worse about myself physically and mentally, which explains such tundra. 'Why would I want to show myself to anyone, I am not happy with who I am?' I would think. 'Am I supposed to hide behind a smile and pretend it's okay?' It tired me out even thinking about smiling. It was something I had forgotten how to do and didn't even want to do, even if I could find it in myself to remember.
Right now, I'm in an exceedingly happy place and last year has been and gone, so what I'm really trying to say and what I've taken away from the article is, surely 'selfies' express our happiness in ourselves and being in our own skin. It's not saying, I'm the modern day equivalent of Narcissus but rather a two fingers up at those who play on our insecurities to sell us products. It's nothing to feel ashamed of, which I now only realise as I stand at a distance and compare how I feel now to how I felt then. I want people to know I'm happy and whether that means I shout it from the rooftops or I smile at a camera, it's never a bad thing to feel happy with who you are.